Added: Allyse Braswell - Date: 24.10.2021 02:31 - Views: 46320 - Clicks: 7283
Try out PMC Labs and tell us what you think. Learn More. Labor migration puts these men in social contexts that encourage infidelity. Interventions that promote fidelity will fail in the absence of a social and economic infrastructure that supports fidelity. Thus, engaging in extramarital sexual relations forsakes or violates this bond. My case study of the Huli in Papua New Guinea shows the problems that are associated with uncritically advocating and expecting marital fidelity.
Findings from the study included:. Huli men view extramarital sexual relations more as a potential transgression against other men and less as a transgression against their wives or the marital bond. Most Huli men do not see sexual fidelity as necessary for having a successful and happy marriage, and they assert that seeking out alternative sexual partners is appropriate at some junctures during the course of a marriage.
With a population of almost 6 million, Papua New Guinea occupies the eastern half of the island of New Guinea and some surrounding smaller islands. It gained independence from Australia in , and although 1 of the official national languages is English, it is home to more than indigenous languages. Recent economic decline and deterioration in the quality of governance has resulted in worsening health indicators.
This research was conducted in the small rural town of Tari, Southern Highlands Province, among the Huli, a cultural group of approximately individuals. Most Huli are still primarily subsistence horticulturalists; however, cash is required for school fees, basic household goods, and some food staples. Because little wage or salaried labor is available in Tari, most people make money by selling coffee and other agricultural produce. Remittances from family members who work outside of Tari also are important. In , when this study was conducted, the Papua New Guinea currency had undergone a precipitous decline and was worth one third of its value 10 years earlier.
Crime also had increased, and many salaried employees had fled the area, which led to the closure of some primary schools and health centers, the small bank, and the post office. In the anthropological literature, the Huli are known for gender avoidance, i. Traditional Huli aphorisms warn that immoderate marital contact—particularly sexual contact—can result in sickness and worsening fortunes among men and premature aging among both men and women.
Since the late s, the influence of Christian missionaries has diminished the importance of traditional gender avoidance beliefs and practices. This study was conducted between February and August Men who had been married less than 5 years were categorized as newly married; men who had been married 5 years or more but who did not yet have adult children were categorized as being middle aged; men who had grandchildren or adult children were categorized as being part of the grandparent generation.
Postmarital migration and mobility was defined as having lived outside of Tari for at least 6 months after marriage or as having made overnight trips away from Tari at least a few times a month. A man was categorized as having high economic status if he had a waged or salaried job or made enough money selling coffee to live in a fiberboard house with a metal roof; men who did not have jobs and who lived in bush material houses were categorized as having low economic status.
Like the other researchers in this 5-country comparative study the other countries are Mexico, Nigeria, Uganda, and Vietnam , I had intended to carry out marital case study interviews. However, this particular methodology was not feasible at the Papua New Guinea project site. Specifically, men wanted to be interviewed first and, once interviewed, refused to allow their wives to be interviewed. Women that I interviewed were similarly unwilling to ask their husbands to participate in the study.
Consequently, the research team interviewed men and women who were married but not to each other. In addition to the interview questions used at all 5 country field sites, Huli men were asked why they were reluctant to let their wives participate in the study. These concerns suggest that the idealized model of companionate marriage—with its presumptions of mutual trust—does not carry much emotional weight with Huli men and that male authority continues to be central to their models of marriage.
This lesson is still a part of marriage rituals, and it was the explanation offered by men in the newly married generation for why they did not engage in extramarital sexual relations. Furthermore, men learn in church and through Christian youth groups that extramarital sexual relations are a sin in the eyes of God. Finally, an important marker of adult masculinity is getting married and having children, and maintaining a smoothly functioning household is important to this vision of competent adult masculinity. To summarize, there are many factors that would seem to motivate men to refrain from extramarital sexuality.
Nevertheless, almost all of the men who were interviewed had engaged in extramarital sexual relations at some point, and many had done so within the past month. However, they did distinguish between the nature of the liaisons they had when away from Tari and those that occurred in Tari.
Liaisons away from Tari typically lasted longer—overnight, for example—and were often described as opportunities for men to experiment with sexual practices they had seen in pornographic videos. By contrast, time was a luxury that men said they did not have during their liaisons in Tari.
There were no brothels in Tari; thus, most illicit sexual transactions occurred outdoors and entailed ducking off into roide underbrush without being seen and quickly completing the act before being caught. What if someone should come by and find us? We have to do it very quickly. If we could do it in a house somewhere, it would be all right. And if we were caught, it would be much worse to be caught doing some kind of untraditional style. Additionally, most men in the sample took the occasional trip to larger towns, the closest of which is about a 6-hour bus ride away and typically requires a stay of at least 1 night.
Men often described the process of becoming familiar with a new urban area as an almost ritualized event that involved being taken to bars by urban-based kin or friends and then bringing women they met at the bars back to low-cost guest houses for sexual relations. Taking visitors or new urban arrivals to bars and paying for the beer and women is a way for male hosts to provide hospitality, and accepting these gifts enables new arrivals to experience modern urban masculinity.
In addition to their brief trips, many men in the sample had worked outside of Tari. There have long been high rates of labor-related migration among the Huli men, in part because of colonial period economic policies that were deed to shape Southern Highlands Province into a labor pool for coffee, tea, and copra plantations located in other provinces. Tari-area population pyramid indicating age and sex of absentees: Tari, Papua New Guinea, That was the first time.
I went with another man. It was his idea—he was my boss and I was the driver. We took a car and we went together. We impressed the women by riding around in a car. Lots of working men do this—they pressure each other to go drink and have sex with prostitutes. How can you make yourself say no when he is holding out his hand and giving it to you? The same is true when a woman offers to have sex with you. You just say yes. Men often expressed ambivalence about this form of relaxation: on the one hand, they found the male camaraderie and the attention of women fun and relaxing; on the other hand, many expressed guilt and anxiety about spending their money on such fleeting pleasures when they could have sent the money home to their families.
In other words, many men expressed a strong sense of loyalty to wives; however, this loyalty was demonstrated primarily through material support, not sexual fidelity. Men in the grandparent generation expressed what might be described as a paternalistic and managerial, but often fond, orientation toward their wives, and men in the newly married generation articulated a marital model that focuses more on the emotional quality of the relationship.
In other words, in your own opinion, what do men need to do so that they will have good marriages? Women expect that a man will have enough land to divide evenly among his wives, enough pigs so that they all have some to raise, and that he will provide protection for his wives and children. If a man does this equitably, his wives will think he is a good man. If I do this, then she will have empathy for me and I will have empathy for her.
Men in the newly married and middle-aged generations also were more likely than men in the grandparent generation to say that if they learned a joke, some gossip, or some important news, they would most want to share this with a wife rather than with male friends, which is another indication of the increased emotional centrality of the marital relationship. If anything, the importance of bride wealth has intensified in the contemporary context because of its inflation and because many families now expect some of it to be paid in cash rather than with pigs, as has been the traditional custom.
Two consequences of this change are that young, unemployed men now find it very difficult to acquire a wife, and once married, husbands often expect obedience from wives as a kind of recompense for the hardships they endured and the debts they incurred amassing the money for bride wealth. The interviews also showed that bride wealth shapes the social and moral meanings of extramarital sexual relations.
For example, some men asserted that fidelity was expected of their wives because of the bride wealth that was given for them, but fidelity was not expected of men because they were the givers of bride wealth. Thus, bride wealth is as much a compact between men as it is a tie of obligation between husband and wife, and marital infidelity—at least with married women—was described by most men in the sample as a transgression against other men. This construction of what constitutes a safe partner clearly departs from the standard biomedical definitions of safe sexual relations.
Traditionally, the only safe extramarital female partners were widows and divorced women, i. However, there is now another group of safe women—specifically, sex workers and women who engage in transactional sexual relations; locally, they are collectively referred to as passenger women. Usually, I just try to find passenger women. In other words, bride wealth was given for them, they have had children with their husbands, and neither they nor their husbands have sought a divorce. However, many of these women know or suspect that they have been abandoned by husbands who left Tari to find work.
Some women learn from returning migrants that their husbands have established new households elsewhere with other female partners; others strongly suspect that they have been abandoned because they have not seen or heard from their husbands in months or even years. Many men stated in their interviews that even when they had the opportunity to send messages home, they were too ashamed to do so if they were unable to send their wives money as well. The inflated cost of goods and services and a decrease in economic opportunities have exacerbated this situation. However, many of the interviews in this study suggest that labor migration initiated men into a culture of masculinity in which extramarital sexuality was considered normal, modern, and an expression of male autonomy; thus, it set in motion an enduring pattern of extramarital sexuality.
Most married couples now live together in the same house, which is a ificant departure from the precolonial period when adult men who belonged to the same clan typically lived together in an all-male residence. However, this change in living arrangements does not necessarily mean that men are completely comfortable inhabiting what are usually referred to as family houses. Men also commented, often unhappily, on the changes they observed in their wives once they had had 3 or more children. Specifically, wives were said to become more willful, demanding, and quarrelsome.
Before, my wife was young and she never talked back. She just sat there and agreed with me and laughed at my jokes. But once she had children, she decided that she was a citizen—that she had the right to speak, the right to carry a stick and hit me when she was angry, the right to disagree with me. She really thought she was a citizen. And when we had children, she got very busy with the children and only thought about them, and they were always around crying or demanding something. This would get on my nerves, and I lost interest in being at home with my wife.
Having children gives them the legitimate right to make demands of their husbands, and it gives them some leverage for refusing requests made by their husbands. Thus, women can be seen as patiently biding their time, and perhaps biting their tongues, until childbearing enables them to be more forthright. Discretely seeking out alternative sexual partners at this juncture in a marriage was described as normal, harmless, and even beneficial for the marriage—certainly wiser than attempting to demand sexual activity from a tired and irritable wife.
I get very graphic. And then my friends can go ask her for sex.Having sex in papua new guinea
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