M. gary neuman

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Why Men Cheat. In a new study conducted by marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman, it's estimated that one in 2. Gary documented these findings—and many others—in a groundbreaking new book. To write The Truth About Cheating , Gary surveyed hundreds of faithful and cheating husbands to uncover the real reason some men stray.

Gary says his work as a marriage counselor inspired him to write this book. I said, 'Well, let's get really down and dirty and find out what we can do to save marriages and make them better. It can't be. I mean, cheating is ridiculous. It's wrong. And you can't justify it," Gary says.

It's really about empowering women. If I can give you knowledge that says that I could have proof that if you do certain things, you can lead your relationship to a better place, that will be much better for you as well because it's not just about stopping tragedy. It's about building a much more mutually beneficial relationship.

What's the one reason men cheat? Ninety-two percent of men said it wasn't primarily about the sex. A lack of thoughtful gestures," Gary says. They just don't look like that. Or they don't seem like that. Or they don't tell you that. Gary says the other woman often makes the man feel better about himself. Makes them feel appreciated, admired," he says. But on the inside, they're insecure like everybody else.

They're searching and looking for somebody to build them up to make them feel valued. Men have a winning mentality, Gary says. Just think about how the men in your life act while watching their favorite sports teams. It looks like that. But as long as they're in the game, even to the very end, they'll watch. Once it's a blowout and they know their team can't win, television goes off. And what a lot of men will say to me through this research is, 'I just felt like I couldn't win. But if you want to secure your relationship and understand and have the knowledge of men, make them feel like they're winning with the things that they do for you.

We all want the same thing," he says. How often does a man cheat on his wife with a woman who's more attractive? Not as often as you may think. Gary found that 88 percent of the men surveyed said the other women were no better looking or in no better shape than their own wives. For the first five years of his marriage, AJ says things were rocky with his wife, Janet.

I went downstairs every time I came home from work," he says. Everybody wants that," Gary says. Anybody, no matter how you look, can be admiring and kind and warm and give you that extra little pump and that extra kindness and hang on your words. How often do men confess to cheating on before being caught? Only 7 percent of men who strayed told their wives without being asked. Fifty-five percent of men in Gary's study have either not told their wives or lied after being confronted with hard evidence.

In , Colleen discovered that her husband, Scott, was having an affair and says she caught him several times. The first time she says she caught Scott was on Father's Day when the other woman called the house. Are you okay?

Hang in there,'" Colleen says. Gary says Colleen's desire to believe her husband is common. The fact [is] that I think you may be cheating. I'll trust you at your word. I've got no choice. But there's something wrong with us. Although he felt connected to his wife, Scott says he started to feel insecure when Colleen's mother passed away. She was really looking for me to be that strong point and I kind of walked away from it because of the insecurities I was feeling and the challenges we were facing in our marriage at the time and my abilities to be able to love her as a husband.

For example, if a man tries to make breakfast and burns the toast, Gary suggests staying positive. When you give him the message mainly that you screwed up, then believe it or not, it makes him feel insecure. That's where the love really is.

Katherine calls in to ask Gary about her suspicions that her husband cheated on her. I asked him about it. He denied anything. He said he took the picture to send to me, which I know is a big fat lie because I wouldn't approve. And so that was one thing.

And then I've also seen e-mails from women from Russia, wanting him to be their lovers. Gary says Katherine should try getting him to submit to a lie detector test. Gary says the cheater's lying is really the ultimate betrayal. Sit down with your wife and say, 'Listen. Something is wrong,'" Gary says. If you suspect your husband is cheating, Gary says there are unobtrusive ways of investigating, such as looking at cell phone records or computer histories, or try using an automobile GPS tracking device if necessary.

But first, find out if GPS tracking is legal in your state. Brian and Anne say they never thought they would have to deal with an affair in their marriage. Anne says Brian was never gone in the evenings, they were emotionally connected, and they had sex every night. Yet Brian was secretly having an affair on his lunch hour at work. And because we had both of those things, I was really unaware of how easily I could slip into an affair," Brian says.

Brian says he started having his affair with a person who at first was just a friend. It just sort of happened. There's a friendship that develops. It's not just looking for the sex," Gary says. They're horrible, rotten, not nice. No, they can be nice people who get lost, who do the wrong thing—and they can be your husband.

In his research as a marriage counselor and for The Truth About Cheating , Gary says he found several s that a husband is cheating. He spends more time away from the house. You have less sex. He avoids contact. He does not answer his cell phone.

M. gary neuman

email: [email protected] - phone:(170) 122-8941 x 6589

M. Gary Neuman